Stupid Girl
by aBeautifulLiar
Summary: It was the disappointment in Finn's eyes, the hate in Mercedes' and the hurt in Kurt's that broke her. She was alone once, she had no friends a long time ago, she never wanted to give them up. Not now.


**Disclaimer: I only own my mind, not Glee or the characters. **

**Stupid Girl**

_Stupid girl, you should have known, you should have known. _

She closed her eyes tight, trying her best not to cry. She had always wanted people to like her, she wanted to fit in but she never could. She always messed up somehow, her future got in the way. Her dreams, her ambitions, everything she had wanted always seemed to ruin every single friendship and relationship she had been in during high school. She was starting to question if any of this was worth it anymore.

It was the disappointment in Finn's eyes before he walked away from her. The hurt in Kurt's eyes when she told him she was running against him. And then the hate in Mercedes' eyes when Rachel was willing to share the spotlight for once.

Kurt was her best friend, he was her fellow diva. He was the one she could sit up with all night and talk to about musicals. He sang with her, he made her laugh, he shared the same dreams as her. They were going to New York together, they were going to live their dreams, live together. They were going to leave Lima far behind, and she couldn't wait. But now it seemed as though she had nobody.

Mercedes and her had never been exceptionally close and it had seemed the closer Kurt had got to Rachel, the further away he was from Mercedes. But still, Rachel never knew how the girl really felt about her. She had no idea she had hurt the girl so much through her ambition. She wanted to be Maria so badly, but she was so willing to share the spotlight with the other girl that she had considered to be a friend. She hated this, she hated the fact she had hurt the amazing singer. She wanted to be happy that she had got Maria in the end, but instead, she was upset. Upset at herself, and upset at Mercedes.

And then there was Finn; her amazing boyfriend who she loved more than anyone. She knew he couldn't take sides, Kurt was his brother and at the end of the day, she had hurt Kurt. She just never thought about other people when she went ahead and did something, she thought that she could change the school without realizing how important this whole thing was to Kurt and then when she had found out, she felt stupid. But at the same time, she was stubborn, she wanted to run against him but she knew that if she did, she could possibly lose him forever. And she could lose Finn because of her own selfishness.

She knew what the right thing to do was – she knew she had to not run against Kurt. She knew that she should have told Mercedes she could have Maria but then she would have nothing to show for her time in the high school. She liked Mercedes, she admired her as an artist and liked her as a person, but recently she had changed. Changed into someone even more annoying than Rachel Berry herself. She decided to drop out of the election, Kurt meant more to her than everyone else – other than Finn, of course – and she decided his friendship was worth too much. She expected him to be happy, to link his arm in hers and talk about audition songs once more, but instead, he nodded his head, told her that he couldn't believe she had betrayed him in the first place and then walked off.

She couldn't believe it. She had lost him, even when she had done what she thought he wanted her to. Luckily, Finn had forgiven her, he held her in his arms as she tried not to cry. She held his shirt tight and closed her eyes as tight as she possibly could. "I-I... I just... you could never understand what it's like to have no friends." She had finally whispered to him, letting the tears fall.

He just nodded, biting his lip. He knew she was right, he had seen her around school before Glee club with her head held low, trying to keep to herself. She had been so alone. There was still the ambition, the star quality before Glee, but she was a loner. He had never seen her with any friends, he only noticed her because everyone picked on her – the girl who posted videos on MySpace of herself singing.

She took his silence as understanding as she took a deep breath, "You.. you were the first person who even took an interest in my life. And then Kurt... Kurt was my first best friend. I know I'm annoying but I still like having friends. And I am starting to make some... Kurt being my best friend, and then Blaine, the rest of the Glee club... but now I'm losing them all and I don't know what to do." She sobbed and hid her face in the crook of his neck as he rubbed her back, kissing her head.

"It will be okay, Kurt will forgive you soon. You're both too similar to not be friends." He sighed and held her as close as possible. She sighed in content, closing her eyes. She hated being alone, she hated not having any friends. She remembered a time when she would have chosen her future over friends but she had missed out on so much. The parties, sleepovers, gossip, laughs, the company. She never wanted to miss anything again.

"Don't leave me, please.. I don't know what I would do without you. I don't know how I would cope being alone." He nodded and picked her up, carrying her to her bed. "Thank you." She whispers, cuddling up to him as he smiles.

"You'll never be alone again. Kurt will forgive you, and you have me. You will always have me, Rachel, because I will never let you go again." He wrapped his arms tighter around her and buried his face in her hair as he sighed happily. "I love you." He whispered in her ear, softly kissing it.

"I love you too, Finn." She kissed his chest, her eyes closing tight. She smiled as she forgot all her fears of living without any friends as she had done so long ago now.


End file.
